We all want to feel good. We all want to obtain a sense of inner peace, yes?
Maybe along the way we have listened to
Deepak Chopra, read a Wayne Dyer book, watched inspirational videos on the "O" Network.
We might have been inspired to meditate, to
journal, to take a workshop in our pursuit of an understanding of how to get to the proverbial place of "peace".
In my own life I
have sought out many different teachers, studied a myriad of different techniques trying to find what works in order to get from "here" (life is kinda chaotic, don't really deal with stress well, have some anxiety) to "there" PEACE! (and butterflies and unicorns)
I am a practical person. I want whatever I am studying to have a practical application...right now! Tell me the steps to take, point me
in the right direction!
I shut down, sometimes, quite literally, if ideas that are presented are "too lofty", too "out there", and
yes, even for a "woowoo" person like myself there is "a line".
I want to have the tools to deal with my life, the daily inconveniences
as well as the monumental situations - grief, fear, anxiety. Yes, I want a deeper understanding of my connection to the Divine, an understanding of my place and purpose on this third rock from the sun, but I also want to know how to deal with the snappy receptionist
at my doctor's office, a partner in a (very) bad mood, a child that is in the throws of teenage angst.
I have looked to
those that purport to know the way, those individuals that have chosen to share their journey as a guide for the rest of us and I have found one over arching theme. One "tool", one "secret", that they all, and I do mean ALL, of them stress first and foremost
above everything else.
Knowing oneself is the absolute beginning, the foundation, the basis upon which ALL else will be built upon.
know you, right? You can tell me ALL about you...from your physical attributes - height, weight, hair and eye color, date of birth, to your likes and dislikes - love cheesecake, onions not so much, you can list a litany of your accomplishments - education,
promotions, and titles - daughter, sister, wife, mother...but, this is not knowing yourself, this is describing yourself.
yourself, true inner knowing, comes when we know what motivates us. Why do I have certain reactions? Why do I take these actions? Why do I allow family, friends, partners to treat me this way? Why do I keep attracting people into my life that lie/cheat/hurt
When we know what motivates us...fear (of abandonment, of success, of failure), lack (of love, acceptance, approval), need (of
continual reassurance)...we can then 'flip the script'.
When I acknowledge that the reason I am SO giving (to my own detriment) is because I need approval from
those around me - and not because I'm just a generous good person (which I am and you are but we should never have to turn ourselves inside out for someone's approval) OR when I can acknowledge that the reason I keep choosing the wrong partner is because I
have a need to 'fix', to 'help' them "I will help them get through this (job loss, addiction, life crisis) and then they will love and appreciate me and everything will be wonderful."
I offer you this - know yourself. Really take a good look
at what motivates you.
When I am losing my temper with my Husband for not getting his prescription filled - the situation is more about me and my fear of him becoming
ill - fear of loss - then it is about him calling the pharmacy. Instead of lashing out in anger at him I could pause, acknowledge my motivation (and the harsh words I WANT to say) and with a gentle reminder to call the pharmacy - allow him to do him - because
he IS an adult and because I do not know everything (gasp!) and because I respect him. Small example but it applies across the board.
how do you get to know yourself - what really motivates you?
Be still. Be quiet. Be in the moment. Stop your mind chatter and unclutter your brain. (And yes, hard sell on the meditation and mindfulness here) These passive actions will allow your inner guidance
to reveal the motivations behind your reactions and responses.
When we know ourself, we become more gentle and loving toward ourself
which allows us to be more gentle and loving to those around us... (Woowoo alert) When we know and love ourself our energy vibrates at a higher more positive frequency - we then attract people into our life that also vibrate on a higher frequency.
Its true. Like attracts like.
Start with you. Get to know you...love you...and watch
your world change.